I don't know how many of you have read either of Debi Pearl's books on marriage. There are two for Ladies ; 'Preparing to be a help meet' & 'Created to be a help meet' if you don't like them then that's fine, but I love them to death. Not literally, but I've learned SO many wonderful things from both of them that are vital in marriage.
I don't think marriage is something in the near,near future for me, but you never know! You could be 18 or 30 when you get married, but it never hurts to be prepared.
I used to write down or think of what the perfect guy would be to marry, and tell myself that I would ABSOLUTELY not want to get married to the "Command Man" type. If you've read either of Debi Pearls books, then you know exactly what I mean...I should actually put down some of that here that you can read...Anyways, so I was thinking about if I say "I WONT" That may be the very type of guy I do marry one day! I was amazed at how much I want to keep control in so many area's of my life, and don't want to surrender to the Lord! It's like I'm saying, "Lord, I love you, and know you know me better than I know myself, but I want to be boss" Rather ridiculous isn't it! If God knows me better than I do, then who better to direct my life!! Really there is alot of comfort in that!! Marriage is one of those things most girls think about as they get closer to their twenties, and I don't want that to be something that is always on my mind, or thinking about what type of guy would suit ME best! It's like I'm always thinking about ME ME ME. I want my focus to be on God! There is a verse about single ladies minding the things of the Lord.
I don't need to be worried about anything in the future! God has that all in his hands. But I want God to have his way in my life in EVERY area! And now I'm not saying I won't marry that type of guy...What ever is God's will in my future, is PERFECT and I'm not about to forget that if I keep my eyes on him!(I may not ever get married!)
Ok, so here's some different portions from the " mr. command man" from debi pearls book.
A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and,on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men. We will call them Command Men. They are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders,politicians,preachers and heads of corporations. Winston Churchill ,George Patton and Ronald Reagan are examples of dominant men. Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these Command Men.
They are know for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A command man does not want his wife involved in a project that prevents her from serving him.If you are blessed to be married to a strong,forceful, bossy man as I am, then it is very important for you to learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority.
Command Men have less tolerance,so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has the chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage.
She is on call every minute of the day. Her man wants to know where she is,what she is doing,and why she is doing it! He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse,it is his nature to control
A woman can fight till she's blue in the face, yet the command man will not yield. He is not as intimate or vulnerable as are other men in sharing his personal feelings or vocation with his wife. He seems to be sufficient unto himself .It is awful being shut out. A woman married to a command man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man,faithful,loyal,and obedient.When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.....
Anyways...there is alot more to the part about that type of guy.....and I think the reason that I didn't like that idea of marrying someone like that, is because I am very head strong and bossy...I don't like to be one to lose. I know that I doesn't matter who I get married to one day, if I really learn to be faithful,loyal,and obedient to the Lord! Then I will continue being like that with the man I marry , doing in unto the Lord!! People aren't perfect, Period! So we're always going to be disappointed, but in the LORD we will NEVER be disappointed!
So my point of this email, was just to say that, I shouldn't ever say I'll never do this, but, just want God's perfect will in my life!
I don't need to worry about my future, I have today to live for the Lord, I want to live each day as my last one! I know up to this point, I really haven't!
I know those of you who know me slightly well, know that I am rather a person who rambles and doesn't make much sense.....
I don't need to be worried about anything in the future! God has that all in his hands. But I want God to have his way in my life in EVERY area! And now I'm not saying I won't marry that type of guy...What ever is God's will in my future, is PERFECT and I'm not about to forget that if I keep my eyes on him!(I may not ever get married!)
Ok, so here's some different portions from the " mr. command man" from debi pearls book.
A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and,on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men. We will call them Command Men. They are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders,politicians,preachers and heads of corporations. Winston Churchill ,George Patton and Ronald Reagan are examples of dominant men. Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these Command Men.
They are know for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A command man does not want his wife involved in a project that prevents her from serving him.If you are blessed to be married to a strong,forceful, bossy man as I am, then it is very important for you to learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority.
Command Men have less tolerance,so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has the chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage.
She is on call every minute of the day. Her man wants to know where she is,what she is doing,and why she is doing it! He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse,it is his nature to control
A woman can fight till she's blue in the face, yet the command man will not yield. He is not as intimate or vulnerable as are other men in sharing his personal feelings or vocation with his wife. He seems to be sufficient unto himself .It is awful being shut out. A woman married to a command man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man,faithful,loyal,and obedient.When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.....
Anyways...there is alot more to the part about that type of guy.....and I think the reason that I didn't like that idea of marrying someone like that, is because I am very head strong and bossy...I don't like to be one to lose. I know that I doesn't matter who I get married to one day, if I really learn to be faithful,loyal,and obedient to the Lord! Then I will continue being like that with the man I marry , doing in unto the Lord!! People aren't perfect, Period! So we're always going to be disappointed, but in the LORD we will NEVER be disappointed!
So my point of this email, was just to say that, I shouldn't ever say I'll never do this, but, just want God's perfect will in my life!
I don't need to worry about my future, I have today to live for the Lord, I want to live each day as my last one! I know up to this point, I really haven't!
I know those of you who know me slightly well, know that I am rather a person who rambles and doesn't make much sense.....
This was VERY good Katie! I'm reading "Preparing to b a Help Meet" now and it is indeed a really good book that every girl that ever wants to get married should read!
ReplyDeleteI like what you said about not worrying about the future but having today to live for the Lord. That would be good for me to remember. =)
Thank you for this post Katie!
Those two books are the best! Tons of things you usually don't hear often ;) Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never come, but we have today!
ReplyDeleteHey Katie! I havn't read all of "Created to be his helpmeet", but I have read "Preparing to be his helpmeet", and love it! It is definatly one of my favorites. There are so many things in that book that all girls need to hear! To make you feel a little better, I also am learning to keep my focus on Jesus, and letting God run my life- in every area! You are right though, it is never to late to start preparing for whatever the Lord might have in store for your life! I miss you lots!
ReplyDeleteGod has so blessed me with new friends like you that want God's will for them in their life! I miss you too, and hopefully soon I'll get to come out and see you!
ReplyDelete